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- Baby，I hope you are one of them~
It seems to be a tradition that I would write something about a movie when you are away. It’s just I have made up my mind that, if I take one and a half hour to see a movie, I should leave some thoughts in words, Since I have so much things I should do first. So here I am.
God knows how much I love musical. From old days’ “Singing in the rain”, “Bathing beauty” to nowadays “Hairspray”, “Once”, “Pitch”, even “High school musical” and “Glee”, every time I watch these movies I can not help turning the corners of the lips up. I am not that kind of emotional person. But the music is the one of very few things to make me feel joy.
Back the to movie, for a musical, the song is just so so. The singing of the actress is really normal. But the idea is so moving that a batch of people gather together making a record just for fun. It’s not that I pin my dreams to you. I just want you master some instruments like keyboard or guitar, not for grade examination, not for competition, just for that you can have a chance to choose in the future. Just like the people in this movie, when life is getting ugly, you can have something interesting to focus on . And I hope you can be one of them.
- “垫底辣妹” －You can if you want to SAFR-12+
一直想给辰辰列一个电影推荐清单，虽然辰辰目前还是一听到电影就完全抗拒。最近突然看到了一篇这部电影的推文：一西安妹子在高中遭遇家庭变故后，突然发奋从学渣到考上清华的经历。那就从这部开始吧。这部电影分级为SAFR-12+（SAFR is for suitable age for Raisin）。记忆中没啥儿童不宜的镜头（没时间再看一遍啦～～），但是电影中关于决定以及决定之后的责任太小年纪可能体会不到。想象应该在初二或高二的暑假陪辰辰一起看这部电影，正好可以助燃一把！！！
最近一年看的电影可能不到20部：资源里可能有不到10%有下的冲动，这里面有只有10%有看的冲动。这部日本热血剧按理来说不在我感兴趣的范畴，本人生性冷漠，看完热血剧可能热血不过一天，以后还是该干嘛干嘛——比起热血，我可能更爱黑色幽默。说来奇怪，这部电影资源一出就赶快下下来，然后趁着出差赶紧给看了。我是一个爱把事情想清楚的人，虽然更多时候是瞎想～～如今我已经放弃把爱情这档子事想清楚的想法啦，早年看了太多浪漫爱情故事，完全给我带偏了，坚决不让辰辰在18岁之前看啥浪漫爱情电影。其实现在想来，现在所处的时代注定了爱情的平庸，要真要啥惊天地泣鬼神的爱情，只能像“古战场传奇”里的女主角穿越到古代战场去：平均每两集来一次生死考验，这才配得上我以前所谓的爱情。关于人生呢，我可能到老了也想不明白，这个议题太过于庞大。而这部电影以及每个人都可以大谈特谈的高考经历牵出了我对那段时间的一点点小思考。
我说过很多浅显易懂的道理，我却是到了很大年纪才明白：比如看着别人的完美总以为多是天赋使然，但是却到了很老才明白常常的情况是“practice make perfect”。其实很简单的，定一个目标，然后努力最好是偏执的完成它，真是一个多么简单的事情。但是事实往往是我没有目标；或是好不容易有一个很模糊的目标，但我对于事情能否完成并没有迫切的关心。但是这并不说我没有努力过～～只是由于目标不明确＋缺乏偏执完成的决心，使得我所谓的努力往往是文不对题或是方向性错误：
小学时终于当班长得到拿粉笔的任务，结果自认为非常礼貌的去找老师领了一回粉笔就被投诉说我没有礼貌，原因是没叫“老师”；
初中好不容易因为老师的鄙视目标明确的努力了一把，咸鱼翻身之后由于没有持续明确的目标就没有下文了；
高中的时候本该早恋＋努力学习的时候却把精力都耗费在了跟突如其来的拆班分班、老师、教育体制……闹别扭上；
最让我无语的研究生阶段，在网上不厌其烦地投了几乎所有能够上边的外企简历，回了无数个各种变态的问题，只换来寥寥几份面试，“请问你有什么实习经验？”what？？读研找工作还需要实习吗？不是要专心做实验发文章的吗？“实习”？是指去麦当劳打工？去商场门口当促销吗？——大姐，我真想回去抽你两巴掌，大公司的寒假、暑假“internship”你知道要去网申吗？……
Anyway, my point is, 驱动力往往比努力还要来的有实际效用，对于一个从来没啥明确目标、缺乏耐心＋whatever works的妈妈来说，辰辰你可能不能指望太多，希望在你的人生重要关口能够找到能使你偏执努力一把的驱动力。好吧，说到底还是自己太懒，这篇文都是去年十月差个结尾一直拖到现在～～～
- “我，花样女王”
这届奥斯卡提名电影中观感最好的一部，同时也让我真正体会到了被猪队友蠢哭了是什么感觉。当我们这边影视剧中都是啥大学一毕业就住高级公寓、奢侈品挂满全身的魔幻现实主义，是需要让辰辰知道生活在阶级固化、偏见与你的DNA捆绑、个人努力并不是100%能保证改变自身状态的世界是一种怎样的体验。
P.S. 一届奥斯卡出了无数母亲的角色，有：上访妈、无爱妈、日常有爱妈、高知开放妈……当妈的真是压力山大啊~~~一有性格缺陷就会往亲子关系上带：（
给辰辰的备忘录：
1）不管妈妈辅导你功课如何吼你，妈妈都爱你；
2）远离愚蠢的人以及他or她的朋友；
3）即使不知道自己想要什么，但要明确自己不想要什么，并有勇气和决断力拒绝自己不想要的；
4）虽然看不出Tonya妈妈对她一点点的爱，但是说的话都是真理——“千万不要嫁给第一个说爱你的蠢货，不管你有多缺爱！”
- 你想活出怎样的人生
近两年由于陷入鸡娃的泥沼不能自拔，所以护肤、看电影还有这个公众号什么的都无暇顾及。说是“鸡娃”是抬举自己了，顶多就是努力跟上大部队的步伐~~~从来不以娃为中心的我，这几年将“以娃喜，以娃悲”发挥到及至，娃考好了，请吃饭；娃没考好，拉着人家絮絮叨叨的抒发半天心里的郁闷。搞得大家都以为我是有多重视学习，多功利的一个妈妈~~~
其实学习成绩从来不是我的评价体系里最重要的一项指标。在分数最为重要的学生时期，别人是想着提高分数，我天天想的和做的是怎样全面发展，不让人觉得自己是个只会读书的书呆子。所以对于自己的娃，我教育的底线是至少不成为思想狭隘、自私和自我为中心的人。但是这些都需要具有一定的学习能力，才能扩展自己对世界上人和事的认识，从而不会成为我最担心的那类人。这是我一直想跟娃说但是又担心说不清楚的事情。正好最近娃看了我给她买的一本儿童哲学书，尽然天天开始担心自己会死，担心到平日倒床就睡的人睡不着觉，还问我“既然人都要死的，那活着还有什么意义呢？”这真是难为我这种钢铁理科生了。于是找了好多书看，而这本“你想活出怎样的人生”就是批着心里鸡汤类的外衣，但是讲的却是异常质朴，并且我十分认同的原则性的生而为人真正重要的东西。
关于学习：
“……无论是谁，个人经验总是有限的。人类拥有语言，因此可以将自己的经验分享给他人，也可以倾听了解他人的经验。而且人类发明了文字，可以通过书籍互相传递经验，并对比不同的人在不同场合的经验，从各方面汇总。这样尽可能多方面地汇总经验，以不冲突的方式整合在一起，就是做学问。可以说，各种学问都是将人类至今为止的经验汇总起来形成的。人们从前一个时代继承经验，在此基础上再积累新的经验，才能从与野兽无异的状态进化到今天。如果每个人都像猿猴一样重新再来一遍，就永远都会和猿猴一样，绝对无法达到今天的文明。因此我们要尽可能钻研学问，从人类积累至今的经验中获得知识，否则耗费再大的精力也没用。在此基础上，竭尽全力解决人类发展至今仍然无法解决的问题，在这样的条件下产生的发现，オ是人类真正的发现，才能被称为伟大。” 我想你已经明白了学习的必要性，不需要我再多说什么了。如果想获得伟大的发现，首要任务就是拼命学习，登上这个时代的学问顶峰，然后在顶峰上工作。但是，为了在顶峰上工作，为了登上顶峰。小哥白尼，你要牢记，不能丢失你半夜醒来后对疑问穷追不含的精神。
关于看待事物的方法：
“人习惯以自己为中心思考、判断事物；即使长大了，这种特性同样根深蒂固。等你长大了就会明白，在广大的世界上，能完全改掉以自己为中心思考的习惯的人，其实非常稀少。尤其碰到事关利害得失的时候，要跳脱自己的立场作出正确的判断，实在很难。面对利害得失如果还能抱持像哥白尼那样的想法，可说是非常了不起。大多数人往往陷入自私的想法，所以看不清真相，只看得到对自己有利的事。 如果人一直坚信地球是宇宙的中心，恐怕就无法了解宇宙真正的样貌；同样地，总是以自我为中心判断事物，也会让人不了解周遭事物的真相。这种人一定看不清重大的真理。平时我们当然会说是太阳升起、落下。有关这些日常的事物，按照习惯这么说并无大碍。不过，如果想了解宇宙的重大真理，就得舍弃那样得想法。世上其他事物其实也一样。”
关于对人的看法：
“重要的不是世俗的眼光或其他，而是你自己必须从灵魂深处了解人到底是什么地方了不起。然后，必须激发自己的向上心，打从心底想成为了不起的人。好事就是好事，坏事就是坏事，逐一判断好坏的时候，以及做你判断的好事的时候，都得贯彻从你胸中涌现的热切的情感。我并不是要模仿北见的口头禅，不过你必须有［不管谁怎么说］的决心。 如果你不这么做，即使我和你母亲期望你成为了不起的人，即使你自己也想成为了不起的人，恐怕你只能成为［看起来了不起的人］，不能成为真正［了不起的人］。世界上有许多人喜欢表现得让别人觉得他们很了不起，这些人最在意别人怎么看自己，总是忽略了真正的自己、原来的自己是什么样的人。我不希望你成为这样的人。 所以，小哥白尼，我再重复一次，你必须珍惜自己的感受和深深感动的事。不要忘记这些事，而且要认真思考这些事的意义。”
关于贫穷：
“小哥白尼，随着你长大成人，你会渐渐知道：贫穷的人在生活中基本上都很自卑。褴楼的衣衫、脏乱的家，还有每天简单的食物，都很容易就让他们无地自容。当然，也有生来贫穷但依然很自信的高尚入士，但在这世上，很多人都会在有钱人面前完全抬不起头来，好像自己低人一等，只会胡乱点头哈腰。这种人自然得不到别人的尊重，倒不是因为他们没钱，而是因为他们卑怯的性格，受人蔑视也没办法。但是，小哥白尼，就算是自導心很强的人，一旦陷入贫穷，也会因某些事而感到自卑，这是人之常情。所以，我们不要忘记时时谨言慎行，以免让他们感到自卑。对于人来说，再没有什么比自尊心受伤更糟糕的体验了。贫穷的人常会有那样糟糕的体验，因此千万不能在无意中伤害他们容易受伤的自尊心。 从道理上说，就算贫穷，也不应该因此而自卑。人真正的价值并不存在于穿着、住宅和食物中。无论穿着多么名贵的衣服、住着多么奢华的宅邸，笨蛋就是笨蛋，小人就是小人，作为人的价值不会因此而提高。若是心灵高洁、博学多闻的人，即使贫穷、也是值得尊敬的、了不起的人。因此，若人为自己拥有的价值抱有真正的自信，那么无论境遇如何，都可以生得心如止水。作为人，在贫穷的境中不该看低自己，在富移的生活中也不要自以为是。自始至终，我们都必须着眼于自己作为人的价值。如果还因贫穷而自卑，就证明作为人还远未合格。”
……好吧，希望于辰辰共勉之~~~
- 世界，您好！
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